it's happening again

it used to be that when i was little, i couldn't sleep the night before Christmas Eve. so, Christmas Eve eve :) i remember tossing and turning; having very strange, vivid dreams. i could not wait until our small and rather strange family traditions began on Christmas Eve.

it's 2011, im 29 years old, and it happened again tonight. only this time it's not anticipation that keeps me awake. instead, it's worry. and sadness. and racing thoughts.

im so ready for a new year to come.

im worried about which road my life will begin to go down.

im so ready for the holidays to pass.

it brings me sadness that my entire family will not be together.

im so ready for a good night's sleep.

these racing thoughts are turning into nightmares.