what is it about spring?

february is almost over already. what happened to it? march is marching right down street and before we know it, i will be writing about how much i love the first warm rain in spring.

what is it about spring?
what is it about the changing of seasons? what is it about spring that we, or at least i, love so much. and i know others agree with me. what is it about spring that makes us love? what is it about spring that makes you want to have a picnic and go on walks? what is it about spring that makes you want to be outside? what is it about spring that makes you want to be in love?

spring makes me want to go back to high school. it makes me want to re-live those days in highschool...baseball season, soccer, spring in highschool was almost the most fun. spring makes me want to go back in time.

why is it that alcohol has to be an influence to make me want to write on this blogger shit? the last um....10 posts probably have all been me under some sort of influence. how sad. i feel like none of these make any sense. they do to me at least in my head. whatever, i really dont care. i have not once went back to even read these. maybe i did once. but so nowadays, i dont even know what i had said last month, or the month before.

someone told me that my blogs are histarical and pathetic. in fact, i think i can quote directly; "your blogs are the most pathetic thing i have ever seen." and its so funny, because i really didnt care what s/he thought. the best part, was that s/he told me this out of nowhere, like i had asked about it, and another great fact was that s/he read all of them before s/he was able to tell me that, so i got the last laugh at that one. thanks for taking the time to read them at least. who says that anyways? out of nowhere? the last best part is that s/he read them all to begin with, without any force or asking of, and even though s/he thought they were so stupid, s/he will more than likely read this blog and see this shout-out specifically pointed out to her/him, and know that i am talking about him/her. hahaha. cracks me up.

on another note...do people just randomly stalk others on this blog shit? because i have a comment on one i guess, from someone i dont have any relation to, or even know...at all. so who does that? who has nothing else to do, than to look up random peoples' blogs and respond? i think its rather creepy. i really dont care if anyone looks at this, but i especially dont care if people respond. and while i guess its a bit flattering that someone took the time to read what i had to say, and i appreciate it, i think i have done a good job of really NOT advertising this to people. not that i dont want others to read it, but i dont want people just being bored and reading this...people i dont know. why? its creepy. dont you have something else to do? at least if i tell my friends about it and people who i know read it, thats one thing. but not randoms. thats creepy. i know i dont sit around and search strangers' blogs. if you do, cool. thats your thing, but it certainly isnt mine. not that im better than you, but come on...honestly...find something else to do with your life.

im not bitter. im really not. in fact im really happy lately. extremely happy actually. i have been finding a new way to appreciate life. in all forms. thats something else i will have to write about some other time im drunk. lets just put it like this: i have come to appreciate people. people of all forms, races, colors, ages, religions, etc. i love people. i come to realize that my life is my life. i believe in god, and destiny, and fate, all at the same time. i believe that i have a role and can play a part in that life, destiny, and fate. i believe in myself and what i can do. i believe in others...even when they suck. i believe in others when they dont know what they are talking about, but are sure that they do. because they probably believe in themselves. i believe in people that dont know other people but hurt them anyways--because i have seen it and felt it. i believe in the strength that i have. i believe that you can love more than one person throughout life. and sometimes those loves may overlap and sometimes they will clash. sometimes love is hurtful. but i do believe that you should only have one BEST love. i believe that you can do anything you really want to do, but it will be hard and strenuous, and annoying. i believe that i will be on stage before i know it. i believe that my screenplay will be amazing. i believe that someday i will be a really awesome teacher. i believe that life is great. this might be hell on earth, but at least we need to make the best of it. i believe that we can all make a difference. i believe that im making a lot of cliches and sounding like an idiot, but im drunk so its fine. but its these small things that i believe in that make my life a whole lot better. these are the things that make me happy. these are the things that have made my life happy. they have made me a lot happier. my friends make me happy. my "friends" who are my real friends. and even those who are just acquaintances. i am happy. i am happy in love. i am happy in life. i am not happy in myself, but thats once again another blog waiting to be written... but i am happy. for the most part.